When culminating whatever cycle, the… acts, the actions and positions which have been maintained concerning the project, the future… that calls, that arrives, that comes, that is there, are evaluated.
Also the resources are evaluated, the means that have been given, and the… possibility of continuing or changing, or resting or…
From the praying sense, whatever culmination contemplates an evaluation with all of the possibilities, with all of the options: from the surest principles, to the most negligible details.
The experience that each being has with the Creation, with the “Mystery lover”, is -without doubt- original and… unique; with the Mysterious as a constant -which supposes unexpected contingencies, surprises, chance-… This minimum or maximum experience, that each one has, ought to be the pattern of reference.
Although it is certain that whatever circumstance or moment is predictable or unpredictable for our relation with the Mystery, also it is possible to evaluate it -and this could be a common reference- to confirm the way in which the prayer acts; in the way, in which the prayer, transforms me, converts me, makes me reconsider; in the way in which is noticed in me the exercising of the prayer!, and I have it as a means, although each one perceives it in a different manner, it is a medium of a universal nature, that is there,.
Water is indispensible for life, but some drink more, some drink less; some drink it in one way, and others in another…
Nowadays, under the structured parameters of the being, the prayer is like water. And in this manner -so simple-, we can notice… and evaluate our relation with… these perspectives.
In this reference time -to this praying purpose-, the Christian breath reminds us, concerning the prayer, that, when we turn to it, we can’t, we shouldn't, make it if before I haven't reconciled, I haven't recognised myself in my position, if I haven't made peace with the others. If I arrive loaded with contradictions, anger, justice, morals and… and judgements and prejudices, probably with a glass so full, the prayer will be nothing more than a mere circumstantial process, but not valid; not valid to change this attitude, this perspective, this manner to see: without the sensation of failure, without this sensation of loss… Because, certainly, there are changes that are made with pain, with resignation, with anger… and they remain like that. It’s said:
-He has changed…
-He hasn’t changed! Nothing has changed! He is a walking bitterness! The world hasn't been made to his measurements. And reason has been used and the emotion has been mortified, and it seems as if he has changed. No! The experience of the Creation has not been listened to! No! Only the personal speech has been listenedto, of his culture and civilisation. And if with that he achieves his purpose: Ah! Very good! Happy! If not: anger, bitterness and desperation, all together. No.
One of the priority perspectives of the evaluation is “not to fool yourself”. And, consequently, in this no “self-fooling”, to not… -if we are evaluating- to not continue with the same disposition, since that in the evaluation we have to introduce variables that drive us to minimally adapt, to be minimally in Unison, to minimally advance; to advance in consciousness, because we are taken!
It is obvious that we live -as a species- in community with our own species and with all of the living biodiversity. Our systems of relation are very variable! But -to put a simple example- just as each time and age has its characteristics, if we don't know –“if we don't know”- that this so simple thing is like this, never will we get to know if we try to modify it. Said in a different way: if we insist that the baby speaks -and it is only three months old-… and we call it stupid, useless, incapable…
-Well! It's that with three months they don't speak.
-Well I don't remember if I spoke or not!
-It's not necessary that you remember. You’re not going to remember, and you also didn't speak.
And when the child walks, it's because he walks, -right?-, And:
-Look how this child walks!
-Yes, of course, it’s because…
- No, he walks a lot, eh?
The patterns of reference, for strange reasons -that we believe are very hedonistic on behalf of those who contemplate them, and, although it seems as if they were perfectionists, they are not, because they want to change, they want to modify something that… belongs to this moment-...
It's like the desperation that the adult usually lives, when the nearest and dearest enters into puberty -or something similar-. And they become desperate, and they… but, but why? It is… a stage of confirmation!, it's a stage of rebellion!, it's a stage of… well, to be there!, right?
-Don't you remember how you were?
-Ah!, but I didn't like how I was.
-Ah!, you didn't like how you were… but you were, right? Well look, itseems as if the rest head for the same defeats.
False models are created, -of privileges, of successes-… that don't have anything to do with, that doesn't have anything to do with what really happens! Ah!, of course: in our culture, -this is certain-, if the element of reference is the winner… ah!, everything is okay; but, on the other hand, if you're not the winner, everything is a problem.
If -in our species- we assume the positions, the attitudes, the dispositions, that we have, because they are part of an inheritance, and an environment with fear… we could introduce valuable variables, realistic, acceptable, adaptable; if not, it would be a “living together without living”, anxious, rough and Etruscan!
The reaction of the human species -Generically, in general- is curious!: not one age can put up with the other. It's incredible! Incredible! That is… the pensioner can’t put up with the adult, the adult can’t put up with the pensioner, the youngster can’t put up with the adult, the adult can’t put up with the youngster… But, well! They are ages, times and rhythms marked by our configuration! They should be flexible, adaptable, understandable, logical, hoped for, changeable…
They are like the fans of a team: they can only put up with those of the same team. Policemen with policemen having a barbecue; doctors with doctors, talking about sick people; players with players, talking about players; mechanics with mechanics, talking about cars… When there is a variable, they either ignore, or they punish, or they pretend to be permissive… They don't know how to act.
This could be called “unsurpassed egotistical selfishness”-For example!-. “Unsurpassed egotistical selfishness”. Yes. That is… you will never get over the fact that your child is 16 years younger than you. Of course! It’s said:
-But it’s that… it’s that, of course…
-No! It’s that… you don't have to overcome anything!
When the raindrops fall, it doesn't seem that –“it doesn't seem that”- amongst themselves they fight to see who arrives first. It doesn't seem like this -although maybe the noise is because of this-.
They also don't fall stupidly and crazily. No! Each one takes its trajectory. Because if they all came together, it would be an immense wave and it would destroy us, right? On the other hand, they come in small drops, so… they are endured!
In the same way, when we find ourselves in our surroundings and in our experience as a species, in different moments, ages and co-existences, each drop –each one- is different; and -at the same time- each one brings us a language, a message. And the combination is… valuable!: The Earth is drenched, the seeds are happy and… a fecund winter is prepared, to reach a brilliant spring.
Carrying on with the evaluation, we have to see from the praying sense:
What value…? What value is ours? Yes. What position do we occupy in this Creation? Maybe it is a very ambitious question, but it's easy to bring it down a little and see what is our value in the ambient we are in; what is our contribution; how valuable are we for our environment; what is our value in terms of “bravery”; With what value do we face the action… in the position that corresponds to us…
There was a saying concerning the armies that said, that the “soldiers bravery was supposed.” It is much to suppose. A lot!, eh? But, because it is an army and it has to attack and it has to defend itself, you have to have bravery to…
Okay. If we take it out of this armed context and we take it to the living together context, we have to, -without doubt- act bravely; with value. And this value and this bravery supposes creativity, supposes improvisation, supposes sincerity, supposes coverage, supposes solidarity, supposes to share…
And it is important to take it out of the context of the armies –right?-, because, usually, the value, -the bravery- is interpreted with the invasion, the power, the order, the imposition… This, in the least of the cases, is “bad manners” -in the least, eh!-.
“Where are you going!? Where are you going with these rebuffs, with these attitudes, with these manias!? You are like that!? Well, change! What’s going to happen here?”…
That’s to say, that also the value has to be assertive; clear. It can’t be ran over by thetemperament… of whatever moment and whatever individual. You have to know -with value- “to tone down”. And if you tell me the things hotly, it’s possible that I throw a bucket of water over you, -so that the temperature goes down a little; of course-. Don’t tell me the things hotly, tell me the things with kindness, with naturalness!... Life is not a continuous and personal “putting up with!”
Let’s evaluate ourselves -in the moment of valuing ourselves- with reference to… this Creative Universe. Let’s not evaluate ourselves with respect to the other who is theoretically worse or theoretically inferior. No! This is… out of date!
Each being, in the eyes of the Creation, has an incalculable value. “Each being, in the eyes of the Creation, has an incalculable value”. This is the principle from where we should begin, in the moment of evaluating ourselves. Then, knowing that we can’t calculate it, at least let us perceive if we are in this range of “the incalculable”. If we are calculable it’s that … we are not; we are not in the adequate value. If now we have retired from the humor, from the love, from the kindness, from the cooperation, -from so many things!-, and we have stayed with the routine, with… “It is calculated”, we haven’t evaluated ourselves. We have despised ourselves. And, at the same time, we have despised the rest -Because, deep down; we think that the rest are also “despicable”-.
On the other hand, when the evaluation is made with the resources that one has, with the means that we have, with fantasy, hope, and projects that can be really shared and developed, there we enter into the “incalculable”. That is the reference.
If we are calcuable, we are not valuable.
Let the Creative blanket envelop us, let that it penetrates through the pores… and that we notice that our duty is incalculable, in the enjoyment, in the pleasure, in the shared complacency, in the unredeemable doing towards the dignity and the solidarity... that in an evolutionary way, puts us in other –real- dimensions… without measures.
